Want to be Famous? Fake Paparazzi For Hire (No, Seriously)

Have you ever seen the paparazzi swarming around someone, yelling their name and shouting out questions? Passersby gather, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever famous person warrants such “star treatment”.

While a pack of paparazzi used to signal the presence of a genuine celebrity, these days it seems that just about anyone can have their own crew of photo stalkers.

And, yes… for five hundred bucks, anyone can.

Though real stars generally shun the harsh glare of cameras flashing and decry the invasion of their privacy, regular ol’ non-famous people can now experience the glamour and excitement of a moment in the limelight.

Meet Celeb-4-a-Day, a new company bringing our cultural worship of celebrity to a bizarre new height.

Here’s the basic gist: For packages starting at $250 (depending on which city you’re in), Celeb-4-a-Day will provide you with a 30 minute experience during which 4 Personal Paparazzi will follow your every move, shouting out questions such as, “(Your Name)…when is your next movie coming out?!”, and vying for your attention. That’s the “A-List Package”. They also offer “SuperStar” and “MegaStar” packages.

In essence, they create the illusion that you are a famous person, a public spectacle in which you are the center of attention. Arrange for them to meet you stepping out of a limo, or coming out of a restaurant, and BING – instant celebrity.
While I generally like to create the impression that I’m too cool to be concerned with fame and celebrity, I have to admit that I would probably secretly enjoy this experience. I feel a perverse sense of pleasure imagining a crowd of people gathering around me, trying to catch a glimpse, even if they have no idea who the heck I am.

“Who is that guy?”
“I don’t know, but he must be famous.”

And I could then, very publicly, pretend that I have no interest in being famous. I’ll shake my head and cover my face (sort of)… I’ll coyly smile and shrug my shoulders as confused passersby snap photos of me on their cell phones, just in case I actually happen to be someone famous.

My own weird fantasy aside, as a practical tool, I can certainly imagine B-List Actors using this service to generate interest as part of a “come back”. Think of it like hunting decoys…

When you’re hunting for ducks, you place fake ducks all around you, right? Ducks flying overhead see the fake ducks floating in the pond, and they think… “Hey, look at that, lots of ducks down there. Must be something exciting going on.”

I bet the “Decoy Principle” applies to paparazzi.

Imagine you see a vaguely familiar person coming out of a posh, Beverly Hills salon. This person is immediately swarmed by photographers calling out his/her name and snapping photos.

If you’re a celebrity photographer scouting for some action, wouldn’t you be likely to go check it out? Maybe you snap some photos, maybe one of them ends up TMZ. Even if they’re making fun of you, hey… any press is good press, right?

While we hear time and time again the horror stories of what fame brings with it, we still crave it, don’t we? Based on the number of e-mails I receive from aspiring “actors” who have never once taken an acting class but are certain they’re going to be big stars (if they only had an agent!), I know that the idea of fame is what initially draws many people to showbiz.

And while only the teeny tiniest fraction of all actors ever achieve anything remotely resembling fame, in the age of reality tv, there is a pervasive sense that not only does everyone deserve to be famous, we’re actually entitled to be famous.

Seen in that light, I suppose Paparazzi-for-Hire is an appropriate business model these days.

What do you think? Would you enjoy the experience? Why or why not?